im in class and ihave nothing better do to then to think of matthew and i that i might get to see him to day or tommarow but tommaorw my brith day and i cant wait for that ill be another year older and another year wiser I DONT THINK SO!!! i can barly get pass practical math let alone smarter well i have alot more to say like i need to get some thngs for matthew you get it ? lets hope not anyways im so bored and i have nothing to do i havent been writeing in here latele caues of all the things that i have been up to like abck stage (never thought i woulde be in to theater ) the play was How to succes in bussness without relly trying.it was so awsome i have the songs stuck in my head *sing rosemary* anyways i love my matthew we have had troubels latlty to me alest i think they were i think he tries to think of all of the srguments as a talking one another but thats not how i see them i see the, as fighting and i hope when he reads this he dosent think that im think about leaving him cause id never do anything of that sort i love him so much and i want to let him know that but i dont know how to do that when we dont  get to see each other to often i want to but i dont have the time or the gas money or the ride to get out there other wises id be out there everyday ill be getting a job soon and i thingk that he will to but he thinks everyones out to get him i want him to think more postive about thoses kinds of thing i love him and only want the best for him now on to other things if i ever (but i  dont think that this will ever happen )but if i do lave matthew then i hope for the best for him he deserves the best unlike me but if he falls in love with anoter then thats what hell get the one he loves i know right now he loves me with all his heart and soul and i want that forever babay if you read this dont think that im going to leave you i havejust been thinking about thing and wrost casesenaryio sp ? but i love you and ill never lave you unless i think were not to be but i thnk were are so dont worry anyways i love you with all me heart and soul well i have to go i ll love you later i hope i get to see you today later gater and everyone else who comes here

new pomes next post

UMMMM HI its me JAMIE if you dont know me already ihate life the only thing keeping me alive would have to be MY MATTHEW !!!! any ways i dont know what to do anymore i cant talk to a certian person anymroe becasue i dotn want matthew to lose the freidnship another time hes going to help MY baby get a job that means a lisence and a car to SEE ME more then anyone ever ever ever but i though id let everyone know how my lifes going and everything ill go and write in here more often byes

i love you MY MATTHEW

well lets see i dont know what to say but i told matt to wrtie in his so i thoiugh that i should write in mine i have had a good week i got to see matt friday and everything we went to the movies and we had our fun thats about it so ill let you so later MUCH

The red rose whispers of passion ,

And the white rose brethes of love ,

O,the red rose a falcon,

And the white a dove ,

But i send you a creamwhite rose bud 

with a flush on its tips,

For the love that is purist and sweetest,

has a kiss of desire on the lips.

this is for my baby i love you matthew always and forever  

 *scaems * and its not a bad thing that i screamed its a good the last time me and matthew seen each other we had our fun right matthew but we also had a scair but we over that  i miss him so much no one can miss him as much as i do  illpost more later  night everyone

yea i know that i havent been talking much about me but from what youve read ive been having a hard time with things laty i dont write anythig unless i have no other way of saying things everythings been messed up my friends arnet really friends and matt thinks there something wrong with me and theres nothing wrong with me ive been thinking alot about everything cause theres nothing to do while in school sence i have no real friends anymore i had to leave them all in /at Van Horn and i miss them all sometimes i just cry cause i miss telling them everything and i do and i just cry or wite it out in these stupid things to relive strss and sometimes that dosent help but its ok i try to tell mat but most of the time we end up in an argument (that we make up from ) and the fights that i have to put up with at a NEW school well heres another one of thoses stupid poems that i write

Daddy why ?

why is it when you look at me

I feel the hate you have for me

why is it when i see you looking at

that tramp  I see the love you have for her

she cheates on you and lies to you about me

you yell

you hit

but you dont now the turth

you thik im lying

im not

get over it

why ?

i never did anything wrong

you never belive thing i say

even when you were with mom

you never belived her eather

you get what you deser and you dont deserve me !!!!!!

                              The difficult times

when you look into my eyes

You can see the pain that I have gone though

but You dont know what it was like going though all that

Ive been hit and mistreated

You hold and love me

You want me to forget my past

but You dont know how hard it is

I burned in to my memmory

The pain

The suffering

You just dont get it

youve never been though what ive been though

but its a good thing that you havent

you try to help me

but remeber i cant forget  thats all i love you mattew

well im haveing a bad day i nothing to do and nothing to go and do ive been acused of sleepinf with a good friends EX MAN but thats dosent matter cause i didnt do it right ? well no its not alreigth because shes going to tell all my new friends that i did but i didnt and i want her to know that and i dont think that shell listen to me cause she dosent know me for that long but what ever i want to go back to Van Horn cause i know that ppl know that i love matthew and no ne else well i have been writing resently so ill post some of it on here the friest one would be called

From Your Eyes To Mine

when i look in to your eyes

I see the love you have for me 

But is it ture ?

of course we will be together forever

with you i want to be

your the only one

from what i could see

your the one for me

 i think that i cant write but everyone else thinks i can if you think i can then comment please i have more that i wil add right now this nexted one is called SORRY!

the hate i have for you

just grows inside

its what you said wouldent happen

why did you leave me ?

i loved you with all my heat

and you just dropped me

im falling

will you catch me ?

ill never forget

ill never love anyone the way that i loved you

why did you leave me the way you did?

inever did anything wrong

i gave you everything you wanted

didnt i ?

i gave you everything you needed

my love

my heart

my soul

why did you leave me ?

 matthew thats when we were fighting so dont think anything about it ok ?i love you baby with all my heart and soul always and forever and thats all for right now

 

ummmmm  dont know what to say but that i hvae been a good girl and i havet had anything to do for a long time i have nothing to do now anyways i dont have much to say but that school has been ok and that i love my matthew

 i dont know anymore it seems like everythings just chrashing all around me matthew mad me mad  and i didnt even do anything for him to piss me offand i did nothing to piss him off i dont know what to do anymore about us i dont do lave him but he thinks  i will  i have nothing to say im going to go